Every Movie Has a Lesson

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EDITORIAL: 5 Marvel superheroes who could beat any slot machine

(Image: superherocomicsonline.com)

Slot machines are a few hundred parts of circuits and machinery, a million parts mathematical odds, and at least one part entertainment.  With the razzle-dazzle of thematic presentation, the ease of use, and the big jackpots, these lines of sit-down entertainment are endlessly popular.  There are many movie-themed slots with free online spins for your enjoyment.  Casual gamblers drop those coins in hopes of scoring more in return.  

With the superhero movies being the biggest movie trend of the moment thanks to Avengers: Endgame, one has to wonder if their advanced abilities and powers could make them better and more successful winners.  In an exercise of fun brainstorming, here are five Marvel movie superhero characters we think could beat any slot machine.

1. DOCTOR STRANGE

Dr. Stephen Strange of Avengers fame, played by Benedict Cumberbatch possesses the famed Eye of Agamotto, better known as the Time gem of the Infinity Stones.  With that power, he can bend time and see millions of possibilities in advance. If Dr. Strange can visualize the 14 million scenarios between Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame and see the one path where they win, he can certainly bend the cosmos for the right rolls to land his way on the slots.


2. DOMINO

From Deadpool 2 and upcoming X-Force fame, Domino’s ever-present and internalized superpower is altering probabilities.  That’s essentially improved luck. With a wink and a smile, we could see Zazie Beetz walking up to the slot machine of her choice and willing its way to a winner each and every time.  All she needs is the coin of choice and luck will do the rest. Call her a heater instead of a cooler. Hubba hubba!


3. PROFESSOR X

One would have to think that the most powerful telepath and telekinetic in the world could manipulate the inner workings of a meager slot machine.  The leader of the X-Men, played over time by Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy, is probably too honest a man to use his powers for gambling gain, but his power would make him unstoppable with or without the coins to make the slots roll.


4. IRON MAN

Robert Downey, Jr’s billionaire industrialist Tony Stark is a tech genius of the highest order in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  He always has the kitchiest and most amazing personal technology at his disposal and that’s all before he puts on any one of his advanced armors as Iron Man.  In the movies, we’ve watched Tony Stark take his cell phone to hijack screens and secure connections. His Jarvis-powered computers can see ever function of machines it examines.  Surely Tony could click a few buttons and conquer a few circuits to land on slot jackpot. He doesn’t need the money, but we would enjoy the entertaining sport of it.


5. HULK

Our final pick is a combination of force and anger.  The fancy powers and tech savviness are out the window with the Green Goliath of Marvel Comics.  He wins by smashing! I would hate to be the slot machine that turns up a loser to Bruce Banner, no matter if it’s Eric Bana, Edward Norton, or Mark Ruffalo.  One punch and that unlucky machine would spill it riches!  Good luck, casino security. If we were you, we would back down and let the monster win and walk away.  All in good fun!

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