by Jamie Polsters

Movies with unrealistic and unattainable love stories are so easy to find. A lot of them have love stories filled with so much toxicity and manipulation. For people getting influenced by movie plots and scripts, this is not healthy.

When meeting your partner for the first time, especially if it's a legit mail order bride that you have been chatting with online, you will have to manage your expectations. It takes more than a physical attraction to maintain a healthy relationship. Other things are involved as well.

With Hollywood movies giving us superficial reasons to want to fall in love, there are still some writers who will show the realities of love. Their scripts portray the ups and downs, the fights and breakups. Setting the standard for your relationship based on movies is not ideal; nevertheless, there is always something to learn from every movie. 

What is a Healthy Relationship?

A healthy relationship is a relationship not beset by insecurities and fear. It is one that does not follow superficial standards, one with partners that choose to remain committed against all odds. In healthy relationships, partners are not toxic or manipulative. 

A healthy relationship is one where both parties understand that they need to constantly put in the effort to make it work. Healthy relationships involve mutual understanding, respect, and trust. Tools like polygraph can further enhance trust by ensuring transparency between partners. Without these things, relationships would involve a myriad of problems.

Indicators of a Healthy Relationship

There are tons of factors that are pointers to a healthy relationship. The following factors are so important that without them, nothing substantial will ever come out of any relationship: 

• Having respect for each other

• Being available for each other 

• Protecting each other

• Always appreciating each other’s kind gestures

• Understanding each other

• Reciprocating your partner's positive energy towards you

• Making compromises 

• Not setting unrealistic expectations

• Being patient

• Being kind

• Not being guided by insecurities

• Proper communication

• Supporting each other 

• Being able to resolve conflicts without imploding or exploding 

• Not competing with each other

• Not being jealous when your partner is making progress and you aren't 

• Respecting your partner's individuality 

• Not being manipulative

• Not being controlling

• Listening

• Being reliable

• Not using your partner's past against them 

• Not trying to always have your way.  

And the list goes on… 

Before you can say you are in a healthy relationship, the list above should contain characteristics you find in your relationship.

Healthy Relationships in Modern Movie Scripts

The movie industry has different views on what a healthy relationship should look like. Some of those views could be unrealistic but it is all based on the scriptwriter’s vision. These are some movies to watch if you are wondering what a healthy relationship should look like. 

How I Met Your Mother

Lily and Marshall 

This series is one you should see. In it, you should constantly look out for Lily and Marshall - the power couple. In this movie filled with a lot of toxic relationships, this couple stands out as they show us that you need trust in a relationship. They show respect towards each other and value themselves. Isn't that what a healthy relationship should entail?

Blindspot

Kurt and Jane

This series follows several investigations on a woman's tattoos. Although starting as teammates, Kurt and Jane eventually get married. The respect and trust they have for each other keeps them going even after she finds out that Kurt almost killed her daughter. 

The Notebook

Allie and Noah 

Allie develops Alzheimer's and her husband Noah reads her stories about their summer when they were younger. True love and healthy relationships require patience. The scriptwriter here shows us that patience is very fundamental to a healthy relationship as things can take on a drastic turn unexpectedly. 

Hidden Figures

Mary and Levi

The movie is based on a true-life story about 3 black women who made history in NASA. Although Mary and Levi are not the central stage couple, they still fascinate us with their relationship. Levi supports Mary through all of her wildest dreams. When you are in a healthy relationship, you support your partner even if you don't agree with them. Support is paramount to the growth of healthy relationships.

Titanic

Jack and Rose

We all know about the story of the Titanic - a big ship that sank after hitting an iceberg. In the chaos that ensues, two lovers have to decide what to do. At the end of the day, Jack lays his life down for his lover, Rose. This movie shows us that healthy relationships involve compromise and sacrifices.

10 Things I Hate About You 

Kat and Patrick 

The script for this movie is that of a typical teen romance, but it shows us that you don't have to lose yourself in a relationship. A healthy relationship helps you maintain your individuality. Being in a healthy relationship makes you vulnerable, but not as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of trust for your partner.

Blue Valentine

Cindy and Dean

A young couple rushes into marriage and slowly falls out of love. It's not a happy ending but it shows us what lack of communication can do to a relationship. 

There is no healthy relationship when lines of communication are not kept open. Don't ever shut your partner out as that is emotional torture. It's a toxic trait and shouldn’t be allowed to fester in a healthy relationship.

Modern Family

Phil and Claire

This is another example of a healthy relationship as Phil and Claire both support and respect each other even when they can't understand or agree with each other's ideologies. 

In healthy relationships, support and respect need to be at the central stage. Healthy relationships require effort, and at the end of the day, it's worth it. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jamie Polsters is an online dating coach with over 15 years of experience. He has helped people build relationships and marriages. He’s now working at YourMailOrderBride where he and other experts help men find a bride and love. When he’s not helping men find love, he’s organizing relationship-themed workshops for couples to attend.