The Worst of Navy SEAL War Movies

by John M. Caviness

Everyone knows what a Navy SEAL is. These secretive commandos are so uniquely popular in our American culture that they've become like celebrities. Whether it's jumping into an NFL football game, or having characters based on them in the latest video games, SEALs are assumed by Americans the country over to be the best of the Special Forces community. And because they are so very popular, they've popped up in many films, especially within the last two decades. Not all of these films though obtain the quality of character that is required of SEALs themselves. Here are the worst.

Navy SEALs (1990)

Following on from the success of Top Gunin the 1980s, studios thought they could bottle lighting a second time. What Tom Cruise did for fighter jets, Charlie Sheen was supposed to do for frogmen! (Well, it seems silly when you actually frame it like that!) Yes, back in the early 1990s, Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn (The Terminator), starred in this really awful, really horrible film about SEALs. Biehn was the same character that he played in The Terminator and Aliens, a no nonsense, quiet tough guy. Sheen, who is arguably responsible for the film being insufferably awful, was the "wild guy" that couldn't play by the rules, that did his own thing, yet saved the day in the end. The SEALs go to Beirut, which is still all messed up because this is the early 1990s, and try and act tough, but they ain't fooling anyone. This film is most notable for its 7-11 tie-in of action cups.

Under Siege (1992)

To the left is an artifact of early 1990s America, a photo of a man by the name of Steven Seagal. Even by 1992, the date of his biggest box office hit, he was approaching his sell by date, his face getting increasingly wrinkled, his paunch growing bigger and bigger. Yet Hollywood connived to sell this aging so-called actor as a Navy SEAL. Even more confusing is that he was a Navy SEAL on-board a Naval Destroyer (when it was taken by terrorists) who was working as a cook. (I still don't understand this plot twist...why would a Navy SEAL be assigned to the galley to work as a cook? Is that the best use of taxpayer money to have SEALs which cost a small fortune to train employed as galley chefs?) In any case, Seagal channels John McClane from the Die Hard franchise and rescues the Navy battleship from terrorists and saves the day.

G.I. Jane (1997)

I suppose I was in a good mood or feeling charitable that day, because put in this current list of SEAL films, G.I. Jane fails to make the grade. Sure, Moore as the first woman SEAL is appropriately buff and the instructors all look very tough, but for some strange bizarre reason that makes no sense, this film that purports to be a serious drama about SEALs fictionalized so much of the training that for anyone who even peripherally knows something about SEAL training, it becomes a distracting point of contention. They could have based the film in San Diego and had Moore undergone real SEAL training. Instead they base Moore in Florida and have her do activities that real SEALs don't do. Why did they make this decision? It's inexplicable. Almost as inexplicable as my initial three star review.

The Rock (1996)

The Rock is a pretty famous and somewhat popular action film from the 1990s. Maybe, in the 1990s it was good, but ten years later, this is a film showing its gray hairs. And you have to have a tolerance for Nicolas Cage's wild antics, which I don't. The SEALs in this film aren't much more than a prop. They secretly enter Alcatraz prison which has been taken over by some angry Marines, and are promptly slaughtered, indicating to the audience that these Marines are really tough guys.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John M. Caviness is a successful marketing manager at do my essay service. This job gives him an opportunity to express his opinion and thoughts on different topics including cyber security.