GUEST EDITORIAL: 5 Date Nights to Avoid for a Couple Healing From Addiction

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5 Date Nights to Avoid for a Couple Healing From Addiction

by Lisa Walker

If your relationship has experienced a rough patch in the wake of addiction, it will take some time to heal. Broken trust, emotional pain, and physical health issues are all significant concerns caused by addiction. For the relationship to achieve full recovery, there’s a long road ahead that includes individual therapy sessions, follow-up meetings, and couples counseling. You will also need quality time together.

With life’s overwhelming schedules, it’s hard to set aside that time to sift through your emotions and heal with your partner. That’s why it’s important to make time for date nights, but not every date night will help. Some locations should be avoided for someone who might be tempted back into old habits. If your partner has struggled with alcohol addiction in the past, Every Movie Has a Lesson explains these date night locations should be avoided.

Night on the Town 

Big cities are not good locations for someone who has recovered from an alcohol addiction. There are usually quite a few bars lining the streets, and large billboards promote brands of alcohol or local clubs that might bring urges. Consider a date on the beach or at a local coffee shop. If you’re choosing a location in a city, try to research the location ahead of time to avoid a route that could become the source of a relapse. 

Specific Restaurants

Many restaurants provide drink menus on the table or the waiter begins the evening by asking if you would like a drink. These options might be enticing for someone who used to struggle with addiction. Instead, consider going to a local restaurant in your area that doesn’t offer alcoholic drinks. Confidential Guides notes that there are several restaurants that offer fancy non-alcoholic drinks. Or, if it’s a restaurant that takes reservations, let them know you would like to avoid drink lists and recommendations. You can also prepare or pick up food and have a picnic in the park rather than eating at a restaurant. 

Double Date

While a night spent with friends is usually a great idea, you might want to avoid this option in the weeks and months following your partner’s rehab time. Not only will you have less alone time, but the other couple may unknowingly bring alcohol to your house for dinner. However, if you would still like to have friends over for dinner and feel comfortable sharing the issue with them, it might be a good way to spend time with an encouraging, healthy couple. The Recovery Village recommends just being yourself when you explain your situation. 

Concert 

Alcohol is often readily available at a concert. These are crowded events where the majority of the attendees are enjoying a drink, which could offer too much temptation to your partner. If you’ve decided to spend time with your partner at a concert, check the venue’s website prior to attending to see if alcohol will be available at that particular show. It might be better to find a show at a smaller venue that doesn’t provide alcoholic drinks.  

Sporting Events

Drinking is common at many sporting events. Saturday Down South notes that even college stadiums are beginning to serve alcohol at their games. It would be challenging for a previously addicted person to abstain from these activities. Perhaps you could watch the game in a home environment or at a friend’s house rather than at the game venue to make the experience a more comfortable one for your spouse. 

Instead of any of the above date locations, consider other date ideas like taking a walk, visiting a park or museum, or having coffee. These types of dates open the door for deep conversations about serious relationship problems such as infidelity and distrust, which often come with addiction. Don’t forget about the option of simply staying home and having a date night without even leaving the house, such as a movie night. It's perfect since you can control the environment. Pop your favorite popcorn, make some gourmet hot chocolate, even put on your favorite comfy-yet-flirty nightgown to add some sizzle.

For those who haven’t been addicted to alcohol, sometimes it is easier to forget about all of the temptations that come up with common activities. As you begin to reestablish your relationship through quality time, take a moment to consider each date location before you go. Allow each of your dates to become another smooth and comfortable step in your healing by avoiding locations that could bring temptation.