Add all of The Dark Tower up, the ineffective length, the nonsensical plot, threadbare mythology, leashed acting, and limited thrills, and you get the lowest sum of calculations. You get the sheer absurdity we started with. I'm sure it's all meant to be substantial and worthy of audience investment, but how is any of it supposed to give us gravity to grasp if it's all presented in such a cursory degree?
Read MoreHere's the worst part of what "Warcraft" tries to execute. With its riffs on exotic worlds, magic, warring factions, and monstrous creatures, it fashions its to be high fantasy and epic spectacle right there with "The Lord of the Rings" and "Star Wars." Universal Pictures thinks it is sitting on a crossover franchise that will sells merchandise and recruit new gamers by the millions. You cannot make the bizarre endearing without substance behind it.
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